Rethinking the Bachelor

Preliminary Reading: Defining Love

Every week, my wife sits down to watch the Bachelor. Sometimes I can convince myself to watch with her. Sometimes it takes alcohol. Regardless, I have watched more of the Bachelor than I care to admit.

You probably know the drill: there is one guy courting over twenty women. Basically, the future for the bachelor is completely uncertain. He has no idea going in which of these women he is going to pick. So when he looks forward to the finale of the show, it could be anyone. Or any of the group at least.

the bachelor

The girls, on the other hand, have one guy in mind, presumably. Each of them eventually imagines a future with the bachelor. But, of course, only one wins. Everyone else goes home angry and confused.

So while they all hope for a future with the bachelor, realistically, their chances are small. But more importantly they are living with conflicts. If one sees the bachelor as her future partner, the next girl probably does as well. But both of these futures cannot be true at the same time. True love is impossible.

The only way for a potential future with one girl to be real is for other potential futures to be false. So any true love between the bachelor and anyone else must be false. Essentially, if one girl has found true love, all the others have not.

If everyone was realistic, the bachelor and contestants would all be uncertain. Uncertain about their chances, their love, and the bachelor’s love of them. The only certainty comes when people are eliminated. So that the maximal confidence in any relationship is fifty percent, when we expect to see proposals. The only thing that is certain is heartbreak.