I am an addict [And so are you]

Preliminary reading: Expecting Unhappiness

While I was doing my Venn Diagrams for my article about expectations, I did a set on addiction. At some point, I realized that I’ve always been an addict. 

Addict (noun) – someone that looks forward to something with expectation. That would make the opposite of addiction being fully present. Habit becomes addiction when hope becomes expectation.

I’ve been addicted to

  • fitness
  • caffeine
  • learning
  • sex
  • porn
  • food
  • social media
  • writing
  • gambling
  • fear
  • work
  • money

The tricky part is that most of these things by themselves are not inherently bad. They become bad when I start thinking about them instead of the present moment. Eating a hamburger isn’t bad, but if I’m thinking about eating hamburgers all day, I have issues.

Working out isn’t a bad thing, but thinking that my reality or happiness depends on my workouts is.

Caffeine is not a bad thing, but thinking that I need it to be myself is.

IMG_6166
If you decide you need something to be happy, you’re right.

Once you start trying incorporate things that can never be a part of you into your character, you begin to need them. To expect them. And when your reality doesn’t include them, you think about the next time that you could have a reality that could. You make plans to achieve that as soon as possible. This mindset is what an addict is. It’s not a chemical need for a drug, it’s the refusal to accept the present moment as being enough. Or refusal to accept yourself in that present moment in your current state. And when the present moment is not enough, you decide what you think would make it enough.

The chemical need comes from perceived mental want. [For more, read the Conservation of Dopamine] When your reality requires a drug, any reality without that drug increases stress. You’re basically comparing who you are right now to who you think you should be. Whether that be working out, writing, eating, or doing drugs, etc.

Suicidal thoughts come when your reality can no longer meet your expectations. Not only that, but you can’t foresee any future realities that meet your expectations. You have no hope. And the opposite of hope is despair.

  • Hope (noun) – belief that there is a chance of a future where your reality is better than now.
  • Actual needs- food, water, shelter, human contact, air, sleep
  • Perceived needs- anything else

Chances are great that you’ve never even been close to needing food or water. The human body can go days without water and over a month without food. People have lived long and healthy lives without working out. Coffee may help you function, but you do not need it to survive.

When we mentally categorize things as needs that are not needs, they become needs. Not because we actually need them, but because when we think we need them to function, we think we’re incomplete without them. We expect them, and thus our reality is incomplete without them.

Another interesting perspective on this is time: Because time does not exist in the brain, there is not a set amount of caffeine, sex, or working out that makes it an addiction. It’s the mindset. For example, if you’re addicted to food and working out, an outsider may not even know anything is wrong with you. Someone would just think you have a fast metabolism because of all the working out that you did.

Remember, we already made the spectacular claim that there is only one brain disease. That gives us the freedom to make some other observations about these addictions.

Addictions are highly correlated with ADD, ADHD, OCD, and many other mental health issues. Now our big leap of logic becomes more of a short step. Let’s define these with our new definition of addiction:

  • Attention Deficit Disorder: looking forward to the next thing
  • Obsession Compulsive Disorder: looking forward to [relative] perfection
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: looking forward to a reality that excludes a past event
  • Anxiety: looking forward to the next potential negative reality
  • Depression: looking forward to despair

So what about the medications that resolve these issues? We’ve discussed it several times in Don’t Trust Your Psychiatrist and Void Avoidance. But the short answer is really at very least, psychiatry has no idea how their drugs work. At worst, they only mask underlying issues. With our brain model, we believe that you have the ability to be happy if you’ve been happy before. With that in mind, and the fact that time doesn’t exist in the brain, the permanent addition of psychiatric drugs is terrifying. It would literally prevent you from becoming who you were designed to be. It would stop you from facing your fears, overcoming your demons, and telling your true story.

Sources:

  1. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
  2. https://www.dualdiagnosis.org/mental-health-and-addiction/the-connection/

 

 

Solving the Gender Mystery

The next time you go to a gender reveal, this may give you the leg up on which color cupcake to eat. Or maybe you’ll go to great lengths to try to swing the odds in your favor. Truth is, a lot of people have spent a lot of time trying to figure this puzzle out. 

I formerly thought that when a tendency to produce the two sexes in equal numbers was advantageous to the species, it would follow from natural selection, but I now see that the whole problem is so intricate that it is safer to leave its solution for the future.

Charles Darwin

Well, what do we know about this strange phenomenon?

  • Billionaires have more sons. 
  • After wars, many more sons are born.
  • More men are born in China. Way more. To the point where they are taking drastic measures to equalize their gender birth ratios.
  • Famine causes a drop in male birth.
  • Older parents are more likely to have daughters.
  • If you have brothers, you are more likely to have boys. If you have sisters, you are more likely to have girls.

So can we neatly package all this into one great theory? Eh…kinda. We know that the father contributes [according to the genetic model] the X or Y chromosome, meaning he would determine the eventual sex of the baby. In looking at the strange facts above, the conditions with less stress produce more boys. So the more you reduce stress, the better chance you have of having a boy.

Think about it.

A famine raises stress. After a war, people are at peace. Billionaires have an unusual amount of comfort in their lives. The diet and lifestyle of those in China and eastern Asia is very different than most of the rest of the world.

Older parents would parallel our proof on Down Syndrome. As parents grow older, they have greater brain entropy, which increases their odds in having a girl.

If you have brothers, you’ll have boys. This is a little trickier to explain. But in short, you’d inherit the mindset from your father. It sounds like science fiction, but we already say that anxiety or depression can run in families. I’m not arguing with that. [I’m arguing that these people were not plagued to be unhappy or anxious from the beginning. And that their misery is reversible.]

Short answer: higher brain entropy [in dads] makes more girls. Don’t misread. It’s not only girls. It just tips the scales in your favor. Billionaires have boys 65% of the time. Give me those odds in blackjack and I’d play all day long. 

Here’s my take on itThe desired result would typically favor boys. To carry on the family name, to continue the dynasty…whatever. The more stress that is introduced to the lives of the parents, the more unstable that household becomes. By having the more unstable families produce more girls, you actually make the world a better place. If the most stressed parents produced the same amount of boys, we’d naturally trend to a more and more unstable environment for our kids. Men were designed to be the leaders of the households, and those closer to their ground states are more likely to have boys. 

Additionally, the people with the most stress in their lives [furthest from their ground state] may not be able to get pregnant at all. It will take us to a human evolution mechanism that we will explore later. 

Sources:

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19435018/
  2. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201104/why-are-older-parents-more-likely-have-daughters%3Famp
  3. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/smoking-couples-more-likely-to-conceive-a-girl-5362024.html%3Famp
  4. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/strong-woman-chances-are-youll-have-a-boy-1136674.html%3Famp
  5. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/8830036/Stressed-women-more-likely-to-have-baby-girls.html
  6. https://www.google.com/amp/s/phys.org/news/2008-12-boy-girl-father-genes.amp
  7. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/its-a-boy-the-science-of-gender-selection-814626.html
  8. http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161014-why-billionaires-have-more-sons
  9. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/02/chinas-great-gender-crisis
  10. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322368.php
  11. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_selection
  12. https://www.google.com/amp/www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/09/24/the-odds-that-you-will-give-birth-to-a-boy-or-girl-depend-on-where-in-the-world-you-live/%3Famp%3D1
  13. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081211121835.htm
  14. http://theconversation.com/mondays-medical-myth-you-can-control-the-sex-of-your-baby-12896
  15. http://discovermagazine.com/2013/nov/08-sex-ratios.

ED is a Brain Disease

You’ve heard the story of Viagra. It started out as a blood pressure drug, and doctors noticed that it was having consistent positive side effects in men.

The question is why. If high blood pressure starts in the brain, what did this drug do that helped men…perform?

If Viagra helps relax men and gets them closer to their ground state, why don’t we all just take it daily? Because it has side effects. And that is no way to function day in and day out.

Here are the causes of erectile dysfunction, according to the Mayo Clinic:

  • Heart disease
  • Clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis)
  • High cholesterol
  • High blood pressure
  • Diabetes
  • Obesity
  • Metabolic syndrome — a condition involving increased blood pressure, high insulin levels, body fat around the waist and high cholesterol
  • Parkinson’s disease
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Certain prescription medications
  • Tobacco use
  • Peyronie’s disease — development of scar tissue inside the penis
  • Alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse
  • Sleep disorders
  • Treatments for prostate cancer or enlarged prostate
  • Surgeries or injuries that affect the pelvic area or spinal cord

Psychological causes of erectile dysfunction

  • Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
  • Stress
  • Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns

Whoa. We’ve posted about almost all of these disorders. What does it all mean? It means that the only obstacle between you and a great sex life is you. 

Most of these disorders originate in the brain, whether or not we know it yet. You may need to take a look at my archived posts.

Remember: There was a time when everything worked properly, and it’s not too late to get back there again…without medication. Your health and sanity depends on it. 

So what is the next step? 

Identify the root of your problems. Identify your stresses, and confront them head on. The solution is different for everyone, but the condition is reversible. The fact that your penis doesn’t work is not your main problem. It’s a symptom of the stress in your life keeping you from reaching your ground state, where you were meant to be.